Suffering
isn't noble:
It's humanity's birthright.
Chapter 1
He punched the button of the electronic opener, watched the door rise and
let the MG coast into the garage. Malcolm lived in a studio apartment
below the home of his landlady, Mrs. Shams. She and her husband had
purchased the house in nineteen sixty, thirty-nine years ago, the same
year that Malcolm was born. Her husband had been dead for nineteen years,
and she now inhabited the home alone.
Mrs. Shams was a feisty eighty-year-old weighing in at a whopping
eighty-six pounds, but with the attitude of a heavyweight. Her hair was
white and her eyes a crisp, clear blue. She went to yoga at least three
times a week. When she talked, her head bounced around on her shoulders
like one of those fake Chihuahua dogs that you occasionally spot in the
rear window of an automobile.
A friend had told Malcolm that the studio was soon to become available,
and he called immediately after receiving the tip. In Carmel, nice little
studios like this one were hard to find even at seven hundred dollars a
month; this one went for three-fifty. It was such a bargain, he figured
there had to be a catch.
"What do you expect from me?" Malcolm asked, figuring that he
might have to take out her trash or do some work around the yard.
"Well, we're not going to be chums or anything like that," she
answered cautiously, and that was fine with him, because he hated yard
work, and befriending a grumpy little old lady certainly wasn't anywhere
to be found on his to-do list, not in this lifetime anyway. More than
anything, or so it appeared, Mrs. Shams just wanted a token man around the
place so she'd feel a little more secure at night.
The home had been built on a hillside that provided a panoramic view of
the area. The studio was part of the lower foundational structure that
supported Mrs. Shams's living quarters above. It had a separate entrance
on the downhill side of the house. The small apartment was completely
self-contained. Malcolm found out later that her son had lived in the
lower apartment as a teenager and used the kitchen as his darkroom.
As time passed, Malcolm found out quite a few other things as well. Some
of what he learned she volunteered; other things he learned from a quiet,
distant observation. In the year and a half that he'd been living there,
he had yet to witness a visit from her son. Actually Mrs. Shams had only
mentioned him twice to Malcolm, and one of the times was when she asked
him to fax her son a copy of his birth certificate because he had lost his
passport.
"It's beautiful," Kate said, admiring the yard as she walked out
of the garage onto the driveway.
"Wait 'til you get around to the other side," Malcolm answered,
as he finished unloading the trunk and set the last bags on the ground
behind the car. After everything was unloaded, he closed the trunk,
grabbed a couple of bags, and started walking along the stepping-stone
path. It led down and around to the opposite side of the house, into a
gardened courtyard, the entryway to the studio. Kate hesitated, looking
first at the car and then at Malcolm.
"Don't worry about that black bag. I'll come back after it in a
bit," he said, pulling up the strap from the duffle that had slipped
from his shoulder.
Kate picked up her overnight bag and purse and followed behind Malcolm.
"Careful of this loose stone," he said, teetering back on forth
on it so she could witness its instability. A root had grown up under it,
and the gardener hadn't found the time or the necessity to dig it out. It
had been that way since he'd moved in.
"Thanks, I see what you mean," Kate answered, taking her turn on
the concrete teeter-tooter. "Wow, look at that!" she added,
taking in the view of the mouth of Carmel Valley. She stared down at
Carmel River Beach to her right and then swept left taking in the grassy
green mountains that rose a thousand feet above the Highlands before she
dropped her gaze. "What's down there?" she asked, pointing to
the area where Highway 1 and Rio Road intersected.
"Crossroads."
"I mean the buildings."
"It's the Crossroads shopping area, and over there's the
Barnyard," Malcolm answered, pointing to the left of the Crossroads.
"It's all shops and restaurants," he added.
"And you live up here above it all."
Malcolm nodded with a cocky smile.
"I love it."
"I bet you do," Malcolm said grinning, reflecting on his good
fortune. "Wait 'til I take you back there," he added, pointing
east toward the valley.
"What's back there?"
"Carmel Valley."
"Where's Big Sur?"
"South of here about thirty miles."
"What's it like?"
"I'd tell you, but words don't do it justice," Malcolm answered,
dropping his handful of bags on the brick patio just outside the apartment
door. He pulled open the wood framed screen door and wedged the doormat
under it to hold it open. He slid the key into the door lock, jiggled it
as if whispering a secret password, and before taking another breath the
door swung open, granting passage into the secret hide-away. Malcolm held
the door and let Kate cross the threshold before him.
"How about a tour?" he joked, making light of the small
apartment
"Please," she cordially insisted while standing just inside the
front door.
"Directly in front of you is the closet," Malcolm announced,
standing right behind Kate and pointing to the west wall of the apartment.
"The door to the right is my kitchen," he explained, ignoring
the dresser on the north wall. A framed poem: The Definitive Journey by
Juan Ramon Jimenez hung over a replica of a dresser that Malcolm had as a
young boy.
She went towards the kitchen and stepped in. "You've got to be
kidding"
"It's all I need," he smiled. It was simply a closet under the
stairway that led up to Mrs. Shams's home. It had a sink to the left.
Above the sink was a shelf that supported a microwave and a coffee pot.
Below the sink, an old bookshelf was used for a few plates, and cooking
utensils. There were also a couple of dusty canned goods that Malcolm had
purchased at the grocery store a year earlier, remnants of a few other
good intentions that had been discarded shortly after he had discovered
Tillie Gort's and the Pink House in Pacific Grove, both restaurants that
the locals frequented.
"Come on, let me show you the rest of my palace," Malcolm
offered, walking around Kate and pulling her by the elbow from the
kitchen. On the opposite side of the clothes closet was a desk.
"That's a great looking computer," she said, looking directly at
a lime colored iMac as she stepped from the kitchen. She ignored the
painting that hung on the wall over the computer; the
"Trickster" was Malcolm's favorite. It had the silhouette of a
human-like coyote shadowed onto the sidewalk in front of a city café. Red
and blue mountains rose up behind the city. The setting sun was reflected
from an infinite string of golden stratiform clouds that appeared to have
no beginning or end. The painting had something magical about it, like it
wouldn't be difficult to fall into, getting lost in another world.
"It's an odd looking thing, huh," Malcolm answered, just to
confirm her reaction to the iMac. "I've been thinking about getting a
bigger place, one with a little more space and a real kitchen," he
added, drawing out one of Kate's beautiful smiles. "This is the
living room," he explained, pulling her three steps from where she
was standing.
With the exception of a small casement in the bathroom, the east wall had
the only window, but it looked down and out into the mouth of Carmel
Valley. Beneath this picture window was an imported Italian black leather
Natuzzi couch. The couch was fifteen years old; it was the first nice
piece of furniture he had ever purchased. In spite of its history, the
leather couch appeared to be in the same condition as the day it had been
newly delivered.
Against the south wall were a queen-size bed and two small wooden
bookshelves that held several classical novels, books on myth, and the
works of several authors that had enticed Malcolm with archetypal
symbolism and their analytical interpretations of the human condition, not
that any of this literature had actually delivered him from evil.
Above the bed was a large, black-framed painting of Sydney Australia. It
was done on brown paper that had been painted completely black. The artist
had scratched off the black paint to reveal a light brown silhouette of
the Sydney skyline including the famed Opera House. The painting was
finished with highlights of bright colors emanating as reflections from
the city's towering skyscrapers above and water from the bay below.
Malcolm had purchased the painting in Sydney several years earlier. He was
told that the artist was an imprisoned petty thief who was allowed to
paint and sell his work for the benefit of charity. It was one hell of a
claim to fame or a sleazy gimmick to sell some deadbeat's work.
The west wall had a door that led into the bathroom. To the left of the
bathroom door was an original painting by one of Malcolm's good friends.
It was of two dancing coyotes, one black and one white, opposing each
other in a dance, face to face, both playing a flute or horn in front of
the crimson sunset background that melted into a blue sea.
To the right of the bathroom door was a honey-finished pine armoire that
contained a seldom-watched television and an abundantly played Sony
carousel CD with an Aiwa stereo receiver. On top of the armoire were
speakers and a glass picture frame with a photo of a naked old man riding
a horse.
"Who's that on the horse?" Kate asked, gazing at the old man
making sure that what she saw was real.
"My grandpa," Malcolm lied. The picture had actually come in the
frame and he had failed to replace it with one of meaning. The naked old
man had drawn so much attention over the years that Malcolm decided to
leave him as a conversation piece.
"Your grandpa?"
"Yeah, he was a crazy old fart," he answered, continuing the
innocent deception. "The bathroom's here," he said, pointing to
the door to the left of the armoire.
"Excuse me," she said, and walked toward the restroom.
"Make yourself at home," he replied, as she pulled the towel
that hung over the door top so that she could close it behind her.
"I'll get the rest of our stuff," Malcolm volunteered, as the
door closed.
The bathroom had a full size tub and a showerhead. Pale green tile covered
the floor as well as the bottom half of the walls. What wasn't tiled was
painted the same color as the rest of the apartment, a creamy off-white.
The sink and toilet were a pale yellow. A mirrored medicine cabinet that
was beginning to rust from the inside out was mounted over the sink.
There was a screened, crank-type window on the south wall that was always
left cracked open for ventilation. In the windowsill were a few boxes of
stick matches that Malcolm collected from the local restaurants to use as
an air freshener or to light a candle in the event of losing electricity
in a winter storm. A bottle of Windex glass cleaner and Tilex mildew
remover hung on a rail between the sink and toilet.
Malcolm heard the toilet flush from the bathroom window as he teetered on
the loose stepping-stone on his way back down to the studio. The bath
water was running. He threw the bags down on the floor, lay down on the
bed and closed his eyes. A few minutes later, the bathroom door creaked
open a couple of inches.
"I need a towel," she said in a soft tone.
"They're on the wooden stand in the corner."
"How about some soap?"
"Below the towels."
"I think I need your help," Kate said, having slipped an arm
through the cracked door, beckoning Malcolm with her index finger rolling
open and closed.
He hopped up like an expectant puppy dog being awakened from a nap by his
master's voice promising some cuddling attention. Her long brown hair hung
down over her breasts, the ends dangled over her nipples. Two clean towels
had already been folded over the edge of the sink. A half bar of soap was
in the tub's dish. He looked into her blue-green eyes, followed her hair
down to her breasts, dropped his gaze further down to her bush, and
finished the downward trend admiring her thighs, calves, feet, and toes.
There was nothing on her petite, yet solid, young body that he didn't want
to gobble up.
Eighty pounds heavier, he leaned in to kiss her and she supported him
effortlessly. Their love affair was still new and she was always ready to
receive him. Kate never needed to be warmed up; their coming together
lacked any awkwardness. When Malcolm kissed her, she was all there,
completely present. It was like the whole world stopped and all of its
energy flowed back and forth between the couple.
Kate pulled the sweaty blue T-shirt over Malcolm's head and arms, and when
his head popped out, he leaned forward trying to mouth one of her nipples.
She pulled away and dropped down to help him out of his jeans and boxers.
She stood up, reached for his hand, turned, and started to step into the
bath. He reached around her, grabbed her breast and pulled her back.
Teasingly she pressed her ass cheeks up into his groin, and he tried to
slide into her from behind, but she quickly evaded him and stepped into
the bathtub. She turned to face him with her melting smile. Like a loyal
pup, he followed her into the tub of warm water.
Chapter 2
It had been a week since Kate last phoned. Her father had died, an
unexpected heart attack. He was in his early fifties and had no history of
heart trouble. She'd flown back east for the service. Malcolm had offered
to accompany Kate but their relationship was too new. She felt it was
better for her to go alone so that she could give full attention to
herself and her family. It made perfectly good sense; he wouldn't know
anyone there and his being fifteen years older than Kate might have only
added to the family's grief. Bringing an older man home to mom at a time
like this would have been more than just a little inappropriate,
especially considering the unstable history of Kate and her father's
relationship.
Against her father's wishes, Kate had moved away to school. His
overprotection and her rebellion had proven a bad combination. The two
probably wouldn't even have been on speaking terms if her mother hadn't
been acting as a mediator. Anyway, Kate's rebellion had brought her to
California, and Malcolm was damn happy about it in spite of her father's
indignation.
Malcolm first met Kate while she was working at a coffee house that also
served soup, sandwiches, and salads. The place looked more like a bar than
a coffee house. It was where Malcolm would meet his buddies Lewis and
Devin for a late afternoon bullshit session over an iced tea. Lewis's wife
had nicknamed them the TWA's - short for Time Wasting Assholes. They were
still trying to figure out the reason for this tag.
Kate worked afternoons at the local watering hole and had to tolerate the
TWA's. Her then-current boyfriend would occasionally stop by to visit.
Malcolm called him Pretty Boy: a blonde, blue-eyed twenty-three-year-old
punk who believed his destiny was to be a movie star. She never appeared
to care all that much for the guy. It seemed that something other than
love and admiration kept the two together. At first, Malcolm thought it
was jealousy on his part. He thought he had dreamed up the story about
Kate and Pretty Boy just to believe he stood a real shot at her, but his
initial take of the situation eventually proved to be right.
It had taken Malcolm a while to trust his instincts, but it took him even
longer to learn patience, not to over-react, and to let fate run its
course and be realized instead of becoming just another dashed dream.
Fortunately, the wait-and-see method had worked with Kate. Had he pursued
her like his body and senses demanded, she'd have probably ended up
married to that little blue-eyed queer.
It was odd how he eventually reconnected with Kate. It was late January,
over a year since Malcolm had moved to the coast. All the women with whom
he'd been involved back in the Central Valley had moved on. Malcolm had
walked to the Pine Inn in downtown Carmel for his morning coffee. It was
the AT&T classic and he was pissed about the crowds. Actually, he was
pissed off about everything.
He'd been up reading and watching television the night before until three
in the morning. He was restless about what to do with his life, uncertain
of how he could support a woman and at the same time honor his call to
freedom. He didn't know exactly what he wanted at this stage of his life,
and.. well, he was afraid of becoming a failure, afraid that he wouldn't
find his next calling, and afraid of spending all the savings he'd
acquired over the years.
He thought of how much easier it would have been just to go back to
tractors. The problem was he'd be selling his soul in this return. Then
again, maybe he really didn't have a choice. Perhaps his soul was really
running the show, and had been all along. All the stuff in the outside
world, the call to conventional duty, was just a distraction. Anyway,
that's what was going on in Malcolm's mind.
On his way back to the studio from coffee, he decided to sell his
airplane. He'd considered selling off this piece of himself in the past,
but it had only been a fleeting thought. Walking back to the studio that
morning, he finally resolved to let go of this particular attachment, too.
He'd left that old dream a year earlier but had held on to N1MC like
Kate's father had clung to her.
He was actually selling the airplane for three reasons. It no longer
served him economically, and the proceeds from the sale would earn enough
interest to more than pay the rent. He was also finished with the identity
that went along with owning and flying the Beechcraft, but the most
profound reason for selling the airplane was that he'd become frightened
of it, afraid beyond a healthy respect.
Bonanza's had years ago been nicknamed Forked-Tailed-Doctor-Killers
because they were fast slippery airplanes that took low-time pilots, like
inexperienced doctors who could afford the airplanes, to an early and
untimely death. He was also aware of how many men in the midst of a
mid-life crisis cracked up airplanes or killed themselves in some other
stylish fashion. They weren't intentional suicides, but the men couldn't
grow up internally. For some reason, they were unable to make the
transition into adulthood and eventually their short-looped psyches got
the best of them. Consciously, their deaths appeared to be an accident;
unconsciously it was suicide.
Two weeks later, he pre-flighted N1MC, pulled her out of the hangar, and
departed from the Carmel Valley airport on runway three-zero with full
power. After gaining altitude, he turned crosswind and then downwind
before adjusting the propeller and manifold pressure to twenty-three
inches square and then proceeded to call Monterey approach to pick up
flight following.
"Monterey approach, this is Bonanza One Mike Charlie."
"November One Mike Charlie, remain clear of class C airspace until
advised."
Malcolm was at twelve hundred feet and at fifteen hundred feet he'd enter
class C airspace. He leveled the plane at fourteen hundred and flew a
couple of three-sixties hoping to gain clearance to transit the protected
airspace, but after making two more unsuccessful attempts at contacting
air traffic control, he gave up on the buzzards.
It was a clear day, so he flew east through the valley at fourteen hundred
feet until out of protected airspace and then climbed to seventy-five
hundred and leveled off. After leaning the fuel to air mixture, he
switched on the autopilot, set the heading bug to zero-one-eight, and let
the Bonanza guide his final flight home.
The man who took care of N1MC was based in the Central Valley. Malcolm had
decided to have Ryder look after the plane. Ryder had one of the most
reputable Beechcraft shops in the Western U.S. and often received calls
from people looking for a well-kept Bonanza. It would also be handy for
any routine maintenance that the plane might need before it sold.
After making one of the smoothest landings in his flying career, Malcolm
taxied up to the gas pump to top off the airplane. He leaned out the
mixture to shut down the engine, turned the key off, pulled it from the
ignition switch and then climbed out of N1MC to chock and ground the
aircraft before refueling. While topping off the fuel tanks, Ryder walked
up and told Malcolm to leave the plane where she was and that he'd put her
in a hangar before the day's end.
When Malcolm retrieved his bag and cellular phone from the Bonanza, he
discovered a voice message his mother had left. He returned her call.
"I'm alive," he announced when she answered the phone.
"Why don't you hire someone to fly you home if you're nervous?"
his mother suggested, knowing that he had been anxious about his final
voyage
"I'm already here," he announced. Fear or no fear, he wouldn't
have let someone else pilot him home; that would have been a defeat.
"Where are you?"
"Airport."
"So then you haven't heard?"
"Heard what?"
"A plane just went down," she said in a sad, yet relieved tone.
"Three people died and a fourth is in the burn unit."
"No, it wasn't me," he said in a choked up voice as a few tears
came. He had no power to create what had happened, but the timing of the
plane crash was enough to validate the decision he'd made to end his
flying career. He'd had a lot of fun in N1MC, had flown places and done
things most people only dream of doing in a lifetime, but now it was over.
Lewis drove up a few minutes later. After locking the Bonanza's doors,
they headed for lunch.
"Hey, whatever happened to Kate?" Lewis asked, after they'd been
on the road for about ten minutes.
"I don't know. I called her several months ago, but she never called
me back," Malcolm answered. "I've got her number programmed into
my cellular phone. I'll call her right now," he announced and keyed
up her number. Her voice mail answered. "Kate, this is Malcolm. I
called you a few months back, but you never called me back. Call me. I
really want to know what's been happening with you," he said in a
direct authoritative tone. "Well, we'll see if that works," he
said, laying the cellular phone down on the seat.
"Man, I sure hope you can tap into some of that shit," Lewis
encouraged. Lewis was married with two children. He was always hoping that
Malcolm could tap into some of whatever he couldn't.
After lunch, Lewis brought Malcolm back to the airport to get his car. The
MG was stored at the airport in the Central Valley. Malcolm kept a Chevy
Tahoe in Carmel and the MG in the Valley. That way, when he flew back and
forth between the two destinations, he always had a set of wheels waiting
for him once he touched down.
Several months had passed since he'd last started the MG, and she was a
bit stubborn. After a few prayers, and cranking on the little red
mid-life-crisis-bucket-of-bolts until the battery was nearly dead, the
stubborn Brit fired on one cylinder. She choked and coughed until
eventually all four were firing.
He had just left the airport when his cell phone rang. It was Kate and the
call threw Malcolm at first because he'd forgotten that he'd left her a
message. She apologized for not getting back to him a few months earlier.
They visited a bit and then he thought that he'd test her with an
invitation for a coffee. She couldn't because she had plans that evening,
so he offered to take her to lunch the following day and she accepted.
At lunch, Malcolm learned that Kate was still seeing Pretty Boy off and
on. They were still doing the same break-up-get-back-together routine that
they'd been doing when she worked at the coffee house. Over the next
several months Kate and Malcolm stayed in contact by e-mail. Whenever he
returned to the Valley, he'd phone ahead to make a date with her for lunch
or dinner. He didn't push anything with her, mostly just listened.
Then one day, Kate phoned to say she had dumped old blue eyes a month
earlier, and that this time it was for good. Malcolm kept in contact with
her, but figured it best to sit back and let her seesaw for a while
longer. The following month, he did another Valley run. It was a Friday
afternoon, and he phoned her on his drive over. She wanted to get together
that evening for dinner. That was the first night Malcolm didn't leave
when he took Kate home. Actually, he didn't leave until the following
Monday morning.
Kate and Malcolm had only been seeing each other for about a month when
her father passed away. She was employed by the county as a social worker
for child protective services and still had her apartment in the Valley.
They'd spend weekends together. Things felt good between them, but it
wasn't time to be living together, not yet anyway. But now Kate was back
east burying her father, and Malcolm was slumming around Carmel, living
alone in his three-hundred and fifty dollar a month studio, pretending
that he was a retired millionaire like the rest of the people there, and
wishing the hell that he wasn't feeling lonely and missing Kate.
When she last phoned, Kate told Malcolm she planned to stay with her
mother for a while. He understood, but was alone and wasn't so fond of the
idea. He wanted to ask her how long she planned to be away but didn't want
to burden her with the demands of his trivial narcissistic tendencies.
He'd been alone for a long time. Having Kate come into his life had raised
a hope that his life as a single man had come to an end.
*
* * * *
Bored and lonely, Malcolm set off to seek solace from a good friend.
Unfortunately, no one was home. Malcolm let himself in with a spare key,
poured himself an iced tea, and turned on the television in hope that
someone would soon return. Named after his maternal grandfather, Judas
Turner despised his birthright, and at an early age chose to be called by
his surname. Turner was a few months younger than Malcolm. They'd been
friends since the summer before their freshman year at high School. Turner
was a few inches shorter and twenty pounds lighter than Malcolm's six
feet, one hundred and ninety-five pound frame. They both had very fine
sandy-brownish-blonde hair. Turner had blue eyes; Malcolm's were green.
Malcolm had been Turner's best man twice, and Turner had been Malcolm's
once. If Malcolm was ever foolish enough to do it again, it would be
Turner standing next to him whispering into his ear, reminding him of what
a stupid ass he was, and singing a little tune that would be something
like: "I do, I do, I do. I don't know why I do, but I do."
Cassandra was ten years younger than Turner. She was from the South. They
had met when Cassi was visiting her grandparents in California. After her
initial two-week visit she returned home and that's when Turner showed up
on Malcolm's doorstep. Hell, he hadn't seen Turner in months, so something
was up
"I met this girl a few weeks ago," Turner said, as he settled
into the black leather sofa in the den of Malcolm's home, having found the
last beer in the refrigerator and a non-alcoholic beer at that.
"What's she like?" Malcolm asked, reaching to put his iced tea
down on a coaster next to the couch.
"She's cuter than hell," Turner said, before taking a swig of
the O'Doul's.
"What's her story?"
"Lives in Memphis."
"Memphis? Where the hell'd you meet her?"
"At a party here in town. She was out visiting her
grandparents."
"You going to Memphis?"
"No, Memphis is coming here. I've been on the phone with her every
night since she got home. You ought to hear her voice. She just drives me
wild," he said, eyes all glazed over.
Turner was.. well hell he was gone. He was so mesmerized, that he didn't
even bother telling Malcolm what Cassi looked like. He was like a
wagged-tail puppy close to peeing himself every time he started mimicking
her cute southern "hi y'all." Cassi moved out to California a
few weeks later. More than ten years had gone by, and now they were a
happily-ever-after story with two little boys, four and two, and a third
kid in the hopper and ready to pop out of the chute anytime.
They were married a year later and not long after, moved to Memphis to try
life in the south. They returned to California six months later. Turner's
old company rehired him and transferred him to Salinas to run a facility
that had been failing because of poor management. Malcolm was divorced by
then and had no woman in his life, so he started visiting Turner and Cassi
on the occasional weekend. One Christmas, Malcolm had come over to
celebrate the holiday with them and the following day he drove Cassi to
the Del Monte shopping center in Monterey to exchange some gifts. Turner
hated shopping; Malcolm didn't care for it much either, but he still had a
woman to cross off his list.
So, Cassi set off on her gift-exchanging mission, and Malcolm bought a cup
of coffee before settling into one of the heavy cast iron chairs that were
scattered around outside of Starbucks. He sat and sipped his coffee and
watched the legs that were attached to the ass ends of all the women
scurrying about in a frenzy as if it was the last shopping day on earth.
It was Malcolm's birthday. He turned thirty-six that day, the day after
Christmas; it was Boxer's day in Canada and St. Stephen's day in other
parts of the world, or so he'd been told.
Gleaning for remnants of bagels and scones, a black bird landed on the
cast iron table less than a foot from Malcolm. He watched the bird bob its
head a few times and then fly off drawing his attention up to the coastal
mountain range. Malcolm felt a bit odd, took a deep breath, and then it
hit him. He was thirty-six, single, no kids and had been living his entire
life back in the San Joaquin Valley. It wasn't a bad life by any standard,
but he'd become a prisoner of his identity. In other words, all that
Malcolm had become and acquired was running him instead of him running it.
A sweet southern "hi there," woke him from his trance.
"Oh, hi Cassi. You done?"
"No, but we better go before I spend what we don't have," Cassi
answered, smiling her smile.
When they arrived back at their apartment, Malcolm picked up the newspaper
and found the classifieds. In the new-today section, he found a studio
apartment for rent in Carmel. He phoned and asked to see it and was
invited to come and have a look right away. Two hours later, he was
writing a check to rent the studio for the month of January.
Malcolm returned to the Central Valley and told his manager what he'd done
and of his plans to take off the next month. After putting his business in
order, he returned the following week for a month long sabbatical that
would hopefully cure him of the same discontentment that three years later
he was still trying to escape. Turner and Cassi eventually purchased a
home in Monterey, about a month before Malcolm had quit his job and moved
into his studio below Mrs. Shams. And now, that's where Malcolm was,
sitting in their new house, sipping an iced tea, watching television and
waiting for Turner, Cassi, and the boys to return home.
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